- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said,
"Where's the car?" She said,
- Family is a haven in a heartless world. - Christopher Lasch
- Distant relatives are the best kind, and the further the better. - Kin Hubbard
- The family that prays together stays together. - Al Scalpone
- Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. - Martin Mull
- Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave? When they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash